"We survive on too little sleep, wolf down fast foods on the run, fuel up with coffee and cool down with alcohol and sleeping pills. Faced with relentless demands at work, we become short-tempered and easily distracted. We return home from long days at work feeling exhausted and often experience our families not as a source of joy and renewal, but as one more demand in an already overburdened life"
- Loehr & Schwartz in 'The Power of Full Engagement'
I recently spent almost three and a half weeks on bed rest; being extremely active, this was akin to a life sentence - in solitary. While I did not spend this time alone, I certainly struggled with the loss of mobility...
I became intimately acquainted with the color of the room in which I spent most of my days, and now know where the flaws in paint and drywall are. I also developed an acute awareness of the things that mean the most in my life. Before this season in my life, I was the epitome of zeal, zest and life - always filled with kinetic energy from my constant movement (literally and figuratively). I found, in my moments when the drugs weren't hazing my mind, that I had everything that I needed in life...that I had more than I had hoped for or others had thought I'd attain.
You see, until life becomes obnoxious and imposes her will on us, we can go through life as though everything and everyone else did not matter save for us and our vision, plan, and hopes. The obnoxious imposition may come in varying ways and to varying degrees, but the result is the same: we find that we're not in control as much we think.
Loehr & Schwartz could not have said it better: we're on our way to doom if we keep up the pace with which we're living life. I know...I know. Bills need to be paid, children need to be fed and clothed, and having a roof over our heads cannot be underrated; yet, in our pursuit of these things, we may be hurting those whom we claim to be breaking our backs for - including ourselves.
As economists claim that the recession is "bottoming out" (what does that really mean to you and I, right?), many of us have been forced to take a long and sober look at the practice of our lives. We have been forced to strip all aspirations away, all masks have been removed, and now we are naked and bare - our true and real selves revealed. Forced to contend with the darkness of our hearts, we have come to reduce our lives to the simple things...
...the smiles, laughs and hugs from my soon-to-be 13 year old goddaughter...Sunday dinner with friends - fully equipped with a game of dominos in tow...being able to return home each day after pouring myself to others having not be hurt or killed on the road...the list could go on. Bottom line: our family (those with whom we share biological DNA and those with whom we share social or spiritual DNA) is all that matters. When the economy tanks, they are there; when the walls seem like they are caving in, they are there; when we doubt our abilities and competencies, they are there.
I wonder: have you appreciated these people lately?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
It's not...easy!
"It's kinda hard being humble in the belly of struggle..."
- Busta Rhymes
I have had an interesting week, to say the least...
It's amazing how much we all take for granted...our freedom...our ability to breathe "relatively" clean air and drink safe water. In the midst of my own difficulties, I have become acutely aware of the things that some of my friends are currently enduring...
Not only are they dealing with tremendous challenge and pressure, we are all struggling with the reality of disheveled dreams. This reality tends to blur the vision of our lives and we wonder if we are going to make it. But...
"...when all you can see is your pain, you lose sight of the most important things...pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly...and left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place" (Young in 'The Shack')
Yes, it can be hard to be humble in the belly of struggle - Jonah, for instance, wasn't truly humble in the belly of the fish. But that does not excuse us from the effort. We are still required to put forth the effort, make the hard decision, and do everything we can to grow and improve. If we don't, we waste a potent opportunity to become more of the men, women, and children we were made to be. Winged...and able to fly
What's clipping your wings?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
- Busta Rhymes
I have had an interesting week, to say the least...
It's amazing how much we all take for granted...our freedom...our ability to breathe "relatively" clean air and drink safe water. In the midst of my own difficulties, I have become acutely aware of the things that some of my friends are currently enduring...
Not only are they dealing with tremendous challenge and pressure, we are all struggling with the reality of disheveled dreams. This reality tends to blur the vision of our lives and we wonder if we are going to make it. But...
"...when all you can see is your pain, you lose sight of the most important things...pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly...and left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place" (Young in 'The Shack')
Yes, it can be hard to be humble in the belly of struggle - Jonah, for instance, wasn't truly humble in the belly of the fish. But that does not excuse us from the effort. We are still required to put forth the effort, make the hard decision, and do everything we can to grow and improve. If we don't, we waste a potent opportunity to become more of the men, women, and children we were made to be. Winged...and able to fly
What's clipping your wings?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Monday, July 20, 2009
A Voice in the Choir
Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship
- William P. Young in "The Shack"
"The world is your stage," I began.
"You have a voice. A unique one. One that will surely be missed if you do not speak or sing your lines."
This was my first lecture to my eager Introduction to Speech Communication students this summer. I was trying to get them to understand how their unique voice was necessary for the "Musical of the Earth" to be a runaway hit. I wanted them to note how their unique voice, set in the backdrop of the "choir" of the world, was especially chosen to sweeten the melodies and symphonies of life on earth. If they failed to speak or sing their lines, it would be nothing short of tragic...
And that same challenge, I now pass on to you...
You have a unique voice. You are, as one of my favorite authors put it, "YOU-nique." My experience on earth will be less than complete if you do not speak or sing your lines. How you raise your children, what educational and career path you choose, which outlook you venerate each day...all these, and more, have a direct effect on me and my experience of earth. You may be raising the next Bach, Van Gogh, Einstein, or George Washington; you may be the example in the office that a potential suicide attempt rests on; you may be the one person on the freeway that prevents a deadly pile-up.
Sadly, no one will ever know...
...not unless you first recognize how much of an asset you are to me...to all of us. How much I need you, just as you need me; how you don't have to be the lead for this musical piece, but the piece is incomplete without your voice...
Will you speak and sing your lines today?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
- William P. Young in "The Shack"
"The world is your stage," I began.
"You have a voice. A unique one. One that will surely be missed if you do not speak or sing your lines."
This was my first lecture to my eager Introduction to Speech Communication students this summer. I was trying to get them to understand how their unique voice was necessary for the "Musical of the Earth" to be a runaway hit. I wanted them to note how their unique voice, set in the backdrop of the "choir" of the world, was especially chosen to sweeten the melodies and symphonies of life on earth. If they failed to speak or sing their lines, it would be nothing short of tragic...
And that same challenge, I now pass on to you...
You have a unique voice. You are, as one of my favorite authors put it, "YOU-nique." My experience on earth will be less than complete if you do not speak or sing your lines. How you raise your children, what educational and career path you choose, which outlook you venerate each day...all these, and more, have a direct effect on me and my experience of earth. You may be raising the next Bach, Van Gogh, Einstein, or George Washington; you may be the example in the office that a potential suicide attempt rests on; you may be the one person on the freeway that prevents a deadly pile-up.
Sadly, no one will ever know...
...not unless you first recognize how much of an asset you are to me...to all of us. How much I need you, just as you need me; how you don't have to be the lead for this musical piece, but the piece is incomplete without your voice...
Will you speak and sing your lines today?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Change and Renewal
"Reinvent"
- verb (used with object)
1. to invent again or anew, especially without knowing that the invention already exists
2. to remake or make over, as in a different form
3. to bring back; revive
If "necessity is the mother of all invention", then being "between a rock and a hard place" must be the mother of re-invention. As I watch the reactions and attitudes around me with respect to the economy, I cannot help but note how it's amazing what can happen when we're faced with no recourse but change...
For tax purposes, most businesses in the United States can be considered...people. They have a birthday...and, some, have a death day. They also have a social security number...a tax ID. For these businesses to survive, they must constantly change their orientation, business focus, configuration, etc. In short, their strategic outlook must be well-versed in the times. It makes little sense, for instance, for a metals production company to increase steel inventory when demand is low for steel, but high for copper. The company must change orientation and focus on copper production.
We are not very different from companies; we must constantly change our vision, plan, focus, orientation...configuration. Nothing shows us this requirement more than tragedy and challenge. As we enter a new era (what we hope to one day call the "Post-Financial Collapse of 2008"), it is those who have dedicated themselves to being fresh and strategic in their living who will own the day.
When was the last time you revised your life plan?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
- verb (used with object)
1. to invent again or anew, especially without knowing that the invention already exists
2. to remake or make over, as in a different form
3. to bring back; revive
If "necessity is the mother of all invention", then being "between a rock and a hard place" must be the mother of re-invention. As I watch the reactions and attitudes around me with respect to the economy, I cannot help but note how it's amazing what can happen when we're faced with no recourse but change...
For tax purposes, most businesses in the United States can be considered...people. They have a birthday...and, some, have a death day. They also have a social security number...a tax ID. For these businesses to survive, they must constantly change their orientation, business focus, configuration, etc. In short, their strategic outlook must be well-versed in the times. It makes little sense, for instance, for a metals production company to increase steel inventory when demand is low for steel, but high for copper. The company must change orientation and focus on copper production.
We are not very different from companies; we must constantly change our vision, plan, focus, orientation...configuration. Nothing shows us this requirement more than tragedy and challenge. As we enter a new era (what we hope to one day call the "Post-Financial Collapse of 2008"), it is those who have dedicated themselves to being fresh and strategic in their living who will own the day.
When was the last time you revised your life plan?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Courage
"To courageously shoulder the responsibility of one's mistakes is character"
- Fortune Cookie
There's something especially humbling about failure; a quality that insufficiency evokes in us. It is at these failure turns, twists, and forks in the road that we discover our inadequacy, become fully acquainted with our fragility, and a heightened awareness of our mortality reveals itself. The manner in which we view ourselves and the world around us changes in the blink of an eye; we are touched in a way that morphs us into individuals with a deeper sense of purpose and a singular focus - to live life fully and wholly.
- Fortune Cookie
There's something especially humbling about failure; a quality that insufficiency evokes in us. It is at these failure turns, twists, and forks in the road that we discover our inadequacy, become fully acquainted with our fragility, and a heightened awareness of our mortality reveals itself. The manner in which we view ourselves and the world around us changes in the blink of an eye; we are touched in a way that morphs us into individuals with a deeper sense of purpose and a singular focus - to live life fully and wholly.
"It is the most liberating thing to not have to be perfect," I said to my 'Introduction to Speech Communication' students this morning. When we recognize that mistakes are inevitable - that they are part of the learning process - we become less averse to making them. And, when we do, we boldly and courageously shoulder the outcomes; knowing that we have mastered fear rather than been mastered by it.
I find that seeing my size in relation to the remainder of the world has potent "medicinical" purpose; introspectively and otherwise. When it is not always about me, I am more apt to see the needs and hurts of others. When the focus is removed from what can be done for "number one", I become viral in my ability to reach out to others. And this state of affairs is brought about most effectively by failure...by mistakes. And, honestly, it requires daily effort to shoulder the burdens and responsibilities associated with mistakes.
As we face another fiscal quarter with an ailing economy marked by almost 10% unemployment nationwide, we are forced to shoulder the responsibilities of good and bad judgment; of wise and unwise financial transactions; of choices made and unmade. Whatever our gains or loses, it is prudent for us to learn that our character as individuals and as Citizens of the World can only be sharpened if we consciously choose for it to happen. Sure, some of us will lose our homes, our vehicles, and, to a degree, our way of life. But make no mistake, my friends; if we, but, set our hopes on who we could potentially become, there will be no economy awful enough to quench the fires of creativity and growth we will stoke...
Is that a monkey on your back...or something else?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Por Que?
'There is no such thing as chance; and what seems to us the merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny."
- Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)
I finally got to watch "The Curious Life of Benjamin Button" after learning that the sciatica nerve in my left leg has more power than the IRS to elicit total obedience and compliance. In the semi-delirious state brought about by a potent cocktail of cyclobenzaprine, hydrocodone, acetaminophen, and naproxen, I was laid up in pin-drop silence as the story of Benjamin Button - who "ages backwards" - was revealed...
...as I thought about this post, I was brought back to Benjamin's recital of the events that took place prior to, his love, Daisy's career-ending demise. "If only"...a pair of words that may have likely changed the story; down to the milisecond, every occurrence before that fateful event seemed to be intricately orchestrated.
"By whom?" you ask. Well, it depends on your belief system. Whomever or whatever you believe to be behind it all, the common denominator is me, you...the individual. I don't believe that we are powerless to destiny, but rather that we are co-authors of our destiny. While life may come at us with winds filled with hurricane fury, whether or not we become victims is a choice that we make.
Sadly, we spend too much time trying to understand why what has happened to us happened; that is, instead of focusing on the lessons to be learned from the experience. We are all defined by particular and peculiar situations; they come at us without fear or favor...respecting none of us. Yet, no matter how it all looks to be by chance, there is often something at work that is larger than we are...
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
- Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)
I finally got to watch "The Curious Life of Benjamin Button" after learning that the sciatica nerve in my left leg has more power than the IRS to elicit total obedience and compliance. In the semi-delirious state brought about by a potent cocktail of cyclobenzaprine, hydrocodone, acetaminophen, and naproxen, I was laid up in pin-drop silence as the story of Benjamin Button - who "ages backwards" - was revealed...
...as I thought about this post, I was brought back to Benjamin's recital of the events that took place prior to, his love, Daisy's career-ending demise. "If only"...a pair of words that may have likely changed the story; down to the milisecond, every occurrence before that fateful event seemed to be intricately orchestrated.
"By whom?" you ask. Well, it depends on your belief system. Whomever or whatever you believe to be behind it all, the common denominator is me, you...the individual. I don't believe that we are powerless to destiny, but rather that we are co-authors of our destiny. While life may come at us with winds filled with hurricane fury, whether or not we become victims is a choice that we make.
Sadly, we spend too much time trying to understand why what has happened to us happened; that is, instead of focusing on the lessons to be learned from the experience. We are all defined by particular and peculiar situations; they come at us without fear or favor...respecting none of us. Yet, no matter how it all looks to be by chance, there is often something at work that is larger than we are...
That said, I urge you to take inventory of your life.
Inventory.
Taking stock.
Have you learned from the occurrences of the past month?
Or, better yet, what have you learned from the past month?
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Who's Driving?
...it's not easy when the road is your driver
- Celine Dion, "When I Need You" (1997)
- Celine Dion, "When I Need You" (1997)
Have you ever felt that way? Like you had no control of anything?
No matter what you did, nothing seemed to go your way? If you have not, I applaud you; you are among a very small minority. For many of us, the road tends to be the driver with such frequency, we budget for it each quarter!
Being in the business of dealing with human behavior and development, it's amazing how it still surprises me how shocked many of us are when we go through seasons with no maps, no instructions...no direction. Celine Dion, the best-selling female artist of all time, could not have put it more succinctly, nor could she have been more correct, when she prefaced the season with "it's not easy..."
As with all posts on this blog, I'd like to shed some light on the role we individually play in the midst of seasons of darkness. I cannot speak for everyone, but I can certainly speak for myself when I say that sometimes we need to pull over. Yes, the road may wish to be the driver every now and then; however, we have to choose whether we remain clueless passengers or we grab life by the horns and determine the speed we travel, the vehicle in which we travel, and the baggage we carry. We have to choose whether we trade our victim mentality for a determined and destined one. We choose...
Of all the marvelous gifts God gave me, I am most thankful for free will - the ability to make choices and decisions. This happens to be the least used gift we possess; especially when set against the backdrop of a more litigious society and one that has become less about personal "responsibility" and more about "rights." Before you write the ACLU about this, let me say that I strongly believe in having my rights - to bear arms, to a fair trial, etc - but not at the expense of shunning responsibility.
When a drunk driver is given probation for being quite past the legal alcohol limit and hits a couple on a motorcycle head on (nearly killing one and maiming both) and then hits the vehicle behind them, one has to wonder where "responsibility" comes in. Four lives...changed in less than 60 seconds. Yet, the person responsible never gets to answer for it. I'll let you be the judge...
While I deeply sympathize with anyone going through a time of the road being the driver, I have to say that you do have a choice. If you cannot stop immediately, eventually there will be a gas/bathroom stop. Use it to make your escape and determine your path. Refuse to be the victim or a clueless passenger. It's your only life to live. Live completely!
(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
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