We "don't" have a Choice?

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice
- George Eliot

With the economic titanic having hit its iceberg, many, if not most, of us are wondering if there's any hope...any recourse. We're all wondering what tomorrow will look like but we're terrified by the shadows we see today. Bailout? Foreclosure? Repo? Recession? The Great Depression? Layoff? Unemployement? All these words and phrases have become as common as the word "Google" and it's not settling well with us.

While the seriousness of this situation and time we are in cannot be underscored, it is important to note that we are not helpless in this situation. We cannot be tossed and driven by the waves of each news report; we cannot be utterly destroyed by each ding on our credit report. We must, instead, recognize that we have a choice in all of this. We get to choose which attitude we will carry towards the challenges before us. Sure, it's pretty easy to say this when someone is not facing a repo, foreclosure, or unemployment; but be assured that we are ALL facing the same climate - some of us have just chosen to carry an umbrella in the middle of the rain.

There is no way to predict which way things will go in a good economy or in a bad one; in either one, there is only one predictor of success and peace - MY attitude...MY choices. Like you, I don't know how much more pressure my heart, my mind, my soul, my finances, or my sanity can take; but I do know that, when it's all said and done, it will all come down to the choices I make with regard to HOW I view each and every circumstance before me.

"Choice is the essence of what I believe it is to be human," said Liv Ullmann (1984). Let us each make being a human amazing by embracing the fact that we DO have a choice - even though there is nothing but darkness around us and we cannot see our way out...

A Final Thought on Personality

THE WELL-DEVELOPED, WELL-INTEGRATED PERSONALITY IS THE HIGHEST PRODUCT OF EVOLUTION, THE FULLEST REALIZATION WE KNOW OF IN THE UNIVERSE
- Julian Huxley (1887-1975)

We spend a great deal of our lives learning who we are and becoming more of what and who we really are. It is when we have become comfortable with who and what we are that our very best self is portrayed. It can be seen in the way we treat ourselves, the way we treat others (friends, foes or strangers), and the attitude with which we conduct our daily lives.
More than anything, we learn that we are more powerful than we can ever imagine! We learn that we are co-authors of our destinies; while forces outside of us (family, work, God, etc) may be at work, what is at work within us is of even greater consequence. That is, our personality can become an amazing tool of leverage so that we constantly aspire for greater things.
Yet, and even so, it is in learning who we really are that we can aspire for greatness. Until we are comfortable with who we are, we will never bring our best to the thrill of being alive (with all of life's twists and turns). The challenge, then, is to develop a solid understanding of who we are so that we can be comfortable with what we do have and what we do not. Who knows? We may just discover an innate ability that might benefit the world in a marvelous fashion...

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

More on "Personality as Leverage"

PERSONALITY CAN NEVER DEVELOP UNLESS THE INDIVIDUAL CHOOSES HIS OWN WAY, CONSCIOUSLY AND WITH MORAL DELIBERATION (Carl Jung, 1875-1961)

Choice? We have a "say" in our personality? An emphatic "yes"! While we may be a product of nature and nurture, there is a lot that we have a say about; we cannot continue to hide behind the cloak of being affected - we must affect!

Life never gives us the perfect settings. We work with bosses and colleagues we do not particularly care for; we drive next to individuals whose vehicular skills are highly questionable; we are affected by whether it is minus forty degrees outside or 100 degrees. Either way, the personality we CHOOSE to display in the face of each of these and other circumstances truly determines just how well we cope with the challenges and joys of life.

Having a personality that beckons others towards us is something that can be worked on! Solomon, the wisest man of the his time, said simply: "If you want friends, be friendly!" It is amazing how such a disposition towards others can draw them to want to learn more about you and what you're about.

You see, the truth is that REAL people aren't truly interested in WHAT you do, they are interested in WHO you are! Try it......you may just shock yourself into amazing circumstances...

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Personality as Leverage

Carl Jung noted: "Real increase of personality means consciousness of an enlargement that flows from inner sources." I believe that it is this component of who we REALLY are that we hide so much yet it could yield the most satisfying relationships and other great returns.
When we are comfortable with not only WHO we are but also WHAT we are, it means that we never have to rely on "polish" to connect with others. Some call this ability to "just be" one's "charisma" or "the IT factor". I have found that we all have the "IT" factor - we are just not happy with "IT"!
When we operate from the core of our being, we never have to be anything other than what we really are; in other words, we are genuine. And it is the most genuine people that connect better with others and seem to get all the breaks. However, we have to begin my taking stock of what lies deep within our personality.
Psychologist Robert Johnson's 1993 book is perfectly titled "Owning Your Own Shadow." The denials we are so passionate about making with respect to who we really are only show that we have to learn how to own our own shadows - after all, we ALL have them! To flourish in a fast-paced world, we must be adept at being real and honest with ourselves, first and foremost. Only then can we be comfortable and real with others.
There is much in each of our personalities that is wonderful and much that is not so. It is in our ability to take honest inventory that we begin a journey of self-discovery and enlightenment that will shoot us into new heights. What's YOUR inventory looking like?

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

The Fight Against Indifference

"A different world cannot be built by indifferent people"

Part of the "Journey of Significance" requires a layover that gives us the opportunity to choose what kind of world we would like to see in the present and leave for the future. Without this layover, we become nonchalant about the state of our lives, those of our family, friends, neighbors, and, ultimately, all of humanity. Such, unfortunately, is the live we have become accustomed to; we have become indifferent and "don't care either way" as one person said to me once.

If we truly wish the world to be different, we have to stand for something - something grander than ourselves and what's immediately best for us. I believe there are only two kinds of people in the world: those who live my preference, and those who live by conviction. Outside of these, others are simply indifferent; and it is these indifferent people can become an intolerable nuisance to themselves, family, friends, neighbors, and, yes, the world at large. This is because they have made no choice...no decision...and have no sense of purpose and direction for life. They do not stand for anything...so, often, they fall for everything.

The SIGNIFICANT Life is about discovering what we will live for and what will die for. It is easier to become a martyr than to live for something. We quickly stand front and center to die for something (our country, our children, our values) but not a decibel can be heard when we are required to live for something. Such is the state of human experience and existence today; shoddy and indifferent...

**Our discussion on "leverage" will continue over the coming weeks, for those of you following closely. Thank you for your patience.**

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai.
No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

More on "Leverage"

"In the new economy, the people that companies are craving - and are willing to pay for - are people who add value to their enterprises. That means people with talent and skills and judgment."

These words appeared in the November 22, 2008 issue of The Australian and only reiterate my last blog point about human resource or, as the paper called it, "human capital".
I cannot stress more strenuously my objection to leveraging the minimum - is that why it is called "minimum wage"? We have to leverage the utmost of our arsenal; but we have to BUILD an arsenal to begin with.
For the next several weeks, we will address some areas that are vital to increase our "leveraging ability" specifically in relation to living The Significant Life.
Our next topic will be "Personality" - learning who we are and becoming more of what we really are.

(c) 2008, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai.
No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

"Leverage"

As we approach the New Year, some things will need to change within our mindsets about our human resource. You see, we drain natural resources by using them up but waste human resources by not using them at all! In other words, what are you leveraging in your daily life? What skills, abilities, talents, and other resources are you leveraging.
If you think this is moot, consider the following: an individual's payscale (hourly or yearly) is directly proportional to the resources said individual is able to leverage to an organization or client. The individual making $8 an hour leverages different resources compared to the attorney earning $500 an hour.
During a recent conversation with one my students, I mentioned how "time" cannot be the only resource that he leverages the remainder of his life. "To live in that 'sweet spot' called The Significant Life," I said, "You will have to leverage not only your time but your expertize and experience." You see, most people leverage only their time and find themselves exploited by the "system" or employers and clients. When we can leverage more than our time, our intrinsic value increases and means that we are living at a significantly higher plane than we would if all we leveraged was our time.
A colleague of mine, Roger Volkema, wrote an amazing book on negotiation in which he states the Golden Rule of Negotiation: "People will negotiate with you only if you can help them or hurt them." Leverage is what we all need for us to traverse the expanse of this constantly changing and challenging world - especially with the manner in which the global economy has been stood on its head and many 'loose' things are falling out.
Dictionary.com defines leverage as "a small investment used to reduce one's own liability" and also the "power or ability to act or influence people, events, decisions, etc." With that in mind, what investments are you putting in? What influence do you have on people, events, decisions, and others factors of human experience that help you (or hinder you) to live life more significantly? What education (formal or otherwise) have you neglected that is now costing you dearly in terms of your influence? What relationships have you not developed (or kept) that have thrown you off course towards significance? Finally, what are you going to do about it?
Leverage...

(c) 2008. Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this may be reproduced or stored without the written consent of copyright holder.