Who Determines the Pace?

"...except for the elite, marathoners do not really compete against each other"
- Harvey Mackay, "Pushing the Envelope...All the Way to the Top"

I was speaking recently at a graduation and expressed an important thought to the graduates and their families: YOU WILL HAVE TO DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE; IF NOT, SOMEONE ELSE WILL SURELY DO IT FOR YOU!

With the interesting state of the economy, many of us are in reactive and panic mode. Let me be sure to note that I do not take lightly the fact that jobs are being lost, homes and vehicles are being taken away, or that retirement and college savings are all but part of a disappearing act or "trick" (where, of course, the audience is not applauding in sheer and joyful amazement). Yet, there's something to be said about focusing on the most important things: WE determine who we ARE during this process.

The late Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst extraordinaire, wrote a book entitled "To Have or to Be". What a potent story just in the title! It's not about what we have or are losing, friends; it's about WHO we are becoming as a result of the losses we are incurring.

"Whatever, Kozhi; you're not feeling the pangs of labor as I am!" you say. Really? I know about loss, my friends; not only do I know about loss, I am intimately acquainted with it - it's on my speed dail! $34,000 project vanished! An entire month's worth of speaking and training cancelled. I don't know what you're going through, but I am acquainted with what you're feeling. While I may not be an expert in your situation, I AM in mine and I know that this all stinks. But so does manure...yet it's amazing what it does for the plant life it is spread over...

What am I trying to say? Don't base your judgments in this situation on how you're faring compared to those around you - they have their own issues to deal with. Like a marathoner, focus on COMPLETING your 26 miles and 385 yards.

YOU determine the pace; take ownership and pride in that. Our bank accounts and investments may have zeroed, but it's not what we have but who we ARE. Let us, collectively, focus on who we're going to be because of, and in spite of, this tough and challenging time. I believe in your ability to triumph. Yet, as Mackay says, "you'll never turn TRY into TRIUMPH...without adding the UMPH!"

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Stress

"Stress is the fertilizer of creativity"
- Jon Vogt ("24")

With the global economy as it is, "stress" has become the staple of many minds. If you aren't feeling the pangs as a woman in labor, you are among the fortunate few. Over the weeks, I have been quietly researching and recording the vocal thoughts of both the well-to-do and the middle class. It is amazing how there is stress in each of these classes. The middle class hope to save their homes and vehicles primarily, while the well-to-do hope to stop the hemorraging in their investment accounts. With that precursor, it is quite clear that we are all feeling the stress that comes with an economic downturn...

Bear with me, then, as I play my psychoanalytical role for a few moments. Stress, as a matter of course, is not a bad thing. In fact, stress can be in two forms: eustress and distress. Eustress is the stress that is necessary for everyday functioning. For instance, it takes this kind of stress to keep your body and muscles in correct balance for you to stand, sit, drive, etc. Distress, on the other hand, is "negative" stress that overloads your mind, body, soul, and spirit. While eustress helps the body to function, distress overloads the body and stunts growth as well as causes damage that may be irreparable...

...the fortunate thing for you and I, then, is that we can make a choice about how we let the stresses of life affect and, in turn, move us. I am hardpressed to think of any organization today that is using the same strategy it used during the economic boom years. All of us, individuals and organizations alike, must now "improvise, overcome, and adapt" (Born Beating the Odds) within this immensely challenging environment. Failure to do so means only one thing: extinction. All of us are innundated with doom and gloom as it pertains to organizations (which, for all intents and purposes, are living, breathing and tax-paying "individuals") but there's another group we hear nothing about: us!

Many of us are going through emotional, psychological, spiritual, and, yes, physical extinction. We feel as though we have failed - terribly! Our homes are in jeopardy, our children's 529s are now 5.9s and let's not even talk about those 4.1Ks that were once 401Ks. We need to remember, however, that we are more than our homes and other assets. Yes, we have a physical self, a social self, and a spiritual self. We just need to be careful not to equate our loses in our physical self (the sum total of our assets and benefits) to the totality of WHO we are. We are human BEINGS - ever changing...and, hopefully, ever growing. The essence of change, my friends, is growth. We must grow from this stress - not become smaller or weaker.

When we work out in the gym, we are putting stress on our muscles - not for them to become weaker, but for them to become stronger. Muscles grow when they become longer. They become longer the more you stretch (I know...a true pun for "stress"). So, consider this season a time of stretching. For, it is the "warm up" that you need to ensure that your "muscles" grow and you become even more of the unique and special individual that you are!

Talk to me...

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.