Empathy

"Empathy...lubricates human relationships"
- Harvey Mackay

An interesting discussion ensued this week, as I shared with my interpersonal communication students the basic tenets of empathy...
...its power to let others know we're listening...its ability to remind us of our own brokenness and need for connection. No matter what kind of relationship we're dealing with, it is improved when the other person feels important - understood and appreciated. "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care," its been said. It couldn't be put any more succinctly!
As we all battle the New Economy, "good people" are facing difficult situations and the arbitrary measures we use to size people up - credit scores, for instance - matter so little. Recently, I was sitting one of my former students' office, a Vice President at a bank, when one of his associates dropped the fancy keys of a BMW X5 - the individual who had the vehicle simply could not keep up with the payments...
Are we to judge that individual, as their credit scores will undoubtedly reflect? I do not know the specific circumstances of the individual's situation, but I do know that most people do not "let go" of homes or vehicles with no compunction; it is something that is difficult and worthy of empathy.
While large corporations declare bankruptcy, individuals suffer from not only job loss but also from "self loss." Because so much of our identity is stooped in what we do and where we do it, it can be a distressing experience to have what we do and where we do it taken away. Yet, my friends, there is hope...

I read recently about a study that said the following:

"Life crises can have long-term positive effects on life. Over 87 percent of people studied said crises like the death of a loved one, illness, breakup, divorce, etc., gave them a stronger sense of purpose in life."

So...what are you doing with your crises?

(c) 2009, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.